i'm so

FULL!






that is all.

the truth is...

it bothers me.
it bothers me sooo much.

it brings me to tears,
and i cant leave my bed in the mornings sometimes.


but i cant tell you that. Because you're trying so hard not to hurt me.
I love you, and I'm very thankful to you.
I'm sorry that I can't offer you any more comfort.
I'm sorry that I can't always be there for you.
I'm sorry that I try to speak and choke on tears instead, so all you hear is silence.


I miss you and I'll see you soon.

alright

so as far as i am aware, everyone has gotten their secret santa person. because no one has spoken up otherwise. lazies.

and ashley is the only person who has sent me a wishlist. BUT, I was talking to audrey, and she thinks that restricting the wishlist to X amount of things is lame and that she likes to have LOTS of options sooooo... i guess fuck it and do what you like. if you cant think of a ton of shit then whatever and if you have a lot of wishes, tell us. i mean, the point of a wishlist is to be helpful to the people who have to get you something. so use your best judgement.

so ashley if you want more stuff go ahead and send it to me and i'll add it to your list. :]

and i will have the list to you guys as SOON as the last person sends it to me. so please dont waste your time studying and decide what material goods would most satisfy your deepest desires to be wanted and loved in this world. oh gosh i'm too tired to be writing a blog post. nothing i'm writing is making any sense.

i'll probably edit this later to fix the oddness.
but basically, send me your wishlists soon k? kthnxbai

WHY?

why doesnt this burn you??

http://www.break.com/index/how-to-build-a-fireball-you-can-hold.html

hrm.

please let me know if you havent received your secret santa yet.
i sent out multiple emails... but yeah. sometimes it just doesnt happen.
so let me know.

well it's been a while.

I'm not super exciting lately. No profound thoughts. No cool events.
I'm so boring! T-T

My classes this semester are quite manageable up to this point. I just need to buckle down and make sure I dont waste too much time like i did this past weekend. OH. i finished all the episodes of big bang theory. and now i'm sad. but there's less to distract me :]
also, this past saturday was the first football game against UCDavis. It wasnt really fair because it was their first division one game, but we sort of crushed them. 49-3. As a result we got 25% off at the student store! so now i have a long sleeved shirt and a pair of sweats that say BERKELEY or UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA BERKELEY etc. It's crazy though. Cal gear is like an addiction. I get more and more but I'm never satisfied. Like i want some V-necks and a pair of comfy shorts and a zip up jacket and another pull over sweater and a teddy bear and another mug and a scarf and a pair of gloves and someone stop me! aaah!! oO;;

xD

oh i guess i could talk about how i'm conflicted about what extracurriculars i want to do.
So i want to do CLAM (Cal Literary and Art Magazine) which sounds SUPER cool, kinda low maintenance and the people seem sophisticated and awesome. They meet Tuesdays at 8-9pm.
I also want to join a small group with either my church Livingwater or my fellowship group InterVarsity. All the small groups seem to meet on Wednesday or Tuesday at either 7 or 8pm and will probably last for at least two hours.
Lastly, I want to stay involved in Camp Kesem. They meet on Wednesdays at probably 7pm, although I am not sure.

If i could give up anything I feel like it would be Camp Kesem for just this semester, since they mostly just do fundraising and socials this semester. But I really want to do it still. :[
dilemma's suck.

anyways, this update is mostly because I havent posted in a while. I dont have much to say really.