i forgot about sunrises

why am i up so early?


it was dark in my room when i woke up.

My dad was kind of shaking me and asking me to drive him to the airport because my mother was sick. What else is family for?
So i haul my fat ass out of bed and follow my father into the freezing cold darkness of before dawn in my pjs and glasses. I'm quiet while he drives down to LAX, partly from being sleepy, partly from being scared of driving home in my half asleep state.

it's still dark.

He stops in the arrivals section (faster/less people than departures) and i take the driver's seat. I try not to kill myself as i merge into the left lane without my side mirror, recall the 25 mph speed limit at LAX and also that i left my license at home. Get on the freeway (which i'm not
sure is the right one, but lucky me it was).

the sky is turning pink behind me.

I am blasting music in an effort to stay awake, and turn off the heater because it's not that cold anymore.

the clouds are on fire.

i get on local streets and almost get lost. why did i get off on inglewood? hawthorne would have been fine, and it's easier.


every time i turn to the south i glance left and see the molten gold horizon wreathed in brilliant displays of hot pink, red, purple, and orange clouds.
each time i turn west i spend more time than is necessarily safe looking in my rearview mirror to see my first sunrise in God knows how long.





my favorite time of day was always sunset.
every day it was different, but it was always beautiful.
a mini-miracle that faded into thick, glossy, star spangled night.
plus you didnt have to make any effort to see it, because most likely you'd be awake and in view of the sky around sunset.
but. i forgot about sunrises.
how glorious they can be.
as if the sun wants to make sure we are paying attention each time she arrives.
"be grateful i'm here!" she seems to cry out. "pay attention to me! i'm beautiful and you better goddamn know it!"

thank goodness my window faces east.



:]